Charlotte’s running club scene is huge. There’s not a day of the week – morning or evening – that you can’t catch a few miles, find community, or grab a coffee or beer with some like-minded folks.
And it’s more than just the fitness-minded who are seeking out these groups. Folks moving to fast-growing cities like Charlotte are finding run clubs to be great ways to explore their new hometown, make new friends, and participate in a social setting that’s not a booze-soaked bar scene. There are 117 new neighbors in the Charlotte area every day. Not all of them are runners, but run clubs are an attractive, low-stakes hang for newcomers and natives alike.
Many or even most runners may enjoy run clubs for the miles or the accountability that comes with a regularly-scheduled workout. And there’s no denying it’s easier to make a connection when you’ve got at least some sort of shared interest— like participating in the same run club every week. But can run clubs kindle the kind of sparks to fuel a romantic relationship? Like most things, it’s complicated.
There’s lots to talk about on a 20 mile run
The pandemic brought us WFH life, remote or hybrid jobs, and arguably forever changed how we interact with each other during most of our waking (and working) hours. It also lit the fuse on a running boom that’s created unprecedented growth in running, races – and run clubs. Even while events remained on hold, were cancelled, or went virtual; running never “closed.” It was, and remains, an in-real-life opportunity to gather.
Many runners find that social aspect of run clubs is just as rewarding as the physical benefits. Rebecca Greene is a Mad Miles run club regular and a Novant Health Charlotte Marathon Ambassador. Like others, she found running and run clubs during the pandemic.
“Joining other run clubs has taught me so much, and you meet people, which spices up your social and friend group a bit more,” Greene told us. For her, the connections made during these group runs are central to her experience. Green said she feels social media has made run clubs a new and popular option for folks looking to find more than friends.
“People are trying to find other ways to find their ‘forever,’ and that’s OK,” she added. “But when I’m out there and I’m just trying to get in a run, I don’t want your number. I just want some Gatorade.”
Lauren Tamberino has been active in Charlotte’s running and fitness community since 2010. Run clubs have helped her meet people and have led to some romantic opportunities.
“I feel like the fitness world in Charlotte is super small. You run into a lot of people,” Tamberino explained. “I’ve definitely dated a couple of people because of run clubs. Obviously, it didn’t work out, but I think it’s a great way to meet people… you have a lot of time to talk on a 20 mile run.”
Billy Shue is a fixture in the Charlotte’s running scene. He’s seriously OG. Like, finding running and training partners on MySpace OG. For him, run clubs have been mostly about finding someone to train with. Shue is also a regular on the podium at area races. With his training schedule, it’s no surprise he’s connected with a few folks within the local running community who’ve become more than running buddies.
“I’ve met people and I’ve dated a few that I’ve met through run clubs,” he said, emphasizing his own personal caution when it comes to dating within the running scene. “You’ve got to be careful — you don’t want to ruin the group dynamic.”
For Shue, run groups and clubs have been a big part of his support network as a runner and his social circle. “I’ve been able to establish relationships with people I still counts among my best friends today.”
If I find someone, great…
As you might expect, not every runner feels run clubs are an ideal setting for finding romance. That includes a runner we’ll call Mary Thornton, who agreed to our interview but didn’t want to use her real name. Thornton has been running around Charlotte for a few years, and recently added run clubs to her routine. She told us she feels dating shouldn’t be the goal of participating in run clubs, but she understand the attraction.
“I think my generation and younger, we’re getting off the dating apps and we’re trying to find other spaces,” she said, “we’re not really drinking that much, and we’re seeking out other things to do that are more physical, like pickle ball, running, and tennis.”
Like Greene, she said social media has made run clubs and other activity-based options popular choices to meet people. She admits she’s “noticed” other runners she thought were cute, and has even asked friends if they had any scoop. It’s gone no further than casual conversation, and she’s fine with that. She’s content on letting a relationship develop on its own.
That’s Shue’s approach now, too. “I go for the run and also the social thing, but that thought’s always in the back of my head,” he added. “You never know who you might meet.”
Tamberino echoed those sentiments, highlighting how the weight to find someone can often be self-imposed. “I think there’s pressure, especially for younger people. Society drives that pressure to find someone and settle down,” she said. Tamberino pointed out that she enjoys the community aspect of run clubs, and emphasized that she’s fine whether or not she finds a partner within the group. “If I find someone, great, but if I don’t, I’m just as happy.”
Again, it’s complicated
Jackie Greco is a licensed mental health counselor at Sun Counseling and Wellness here in Charlotte. She regularly works with couples and others navigating the complexities of relationships and dating.
“There’s a positive benefit to meeting through a group with some shared interest,” Greco said “when we’re talking about building connections and relationships, whether it’s for friendships or whether it’s for romantic relationships, shared interests and values are the very basis of any good, healthy relationship.”
Some runners are wary, other want no part, and others still are fully willing to embrace the possibility of finding more than friends through run clubs. After all, if you’re spending a significant amount of time (or miles) around the same people, there’s always the possibility that particular friendships could turn into something more. But again, it’s complicated.
“There’s always the risk that a failed relationship could disrupt your participation or cause tension within the group,” Greco said. She reminded runners to be careful of their expectations and to weigh the potential fallout.
That’s a point Tamberino touched on during our interview, too; recalling how after a brief romantic involvement with someone in run club, she felt the need to temporarily distance herself from the group. “I didn’t want to deal with it, even though no one knew about it. I just needed some space to let things settle.”
In the second part of our series, we’ll get into some success stories and cautionary tales from the Charlotte run club scene.
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