“It’s 2024, and the world has gone creepy,” Rebecca Greene said. “Some women just want to run, and they don’t want to be bothered.”
We’re on an ever-so-slight tangent during this interview. We’re talking about women and running, safety in numbers, and the growth and popularity of all-female running clubs. And she has all legitimate points. Sometimes, run club just needs to be about the running.
But as we discussed in the first part of this series, run clubs in Charlotte – and in other fast-growing cities like it – have become increasing popular places for folks to find new friends, learn more about the places they lives, and yes; maybe even find love.
READ: Run Club Romance – Part 1: You never know who you might meet
While the runners we spoke with said they see Charlotte area run clubs as a space for fitness and friendship first, they agreed there’s opportunity to find a potential partner. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re looking or interested or successful. At the very least, the shared interest in running and the time spent logging a few miles together can kindle a friendship or something more. And running is as good a place as any to begin.
For the Love of Running First
“We might enjoy running for different reasons, and there might be something interesting about that as a starting point,” said Jackie Greco, a licensed mental health counselor at Sun Counseling and Wellness in Charlotte.
Greco explained how a group setting, like a run club, generally has some rules of engagement that provide a level of safety and comfort in being able to move in and out of conversations with smaller groups or individuals. That can make it easy for folks to strike up conversations, stick around if they’re clicking, or move along if they’re not.
“Through them, we might find something else that we share a connection on,” she added, “and we wouldn’t have even been talking if we weren’t meeting at this mutual space to run.”
Which is precisely how Lindsey McGee and Tom Holland connected. McGee and Holland met at a run club event – his first-ever run club, actually. He’d been living in Huntersville and had just moved to Charlotte. Their 10 to 15-minute casual conversation eventually grew into something more.
“She was literally the first person I met in the Charlotte running community,” said Holland, who’d been running most of his miles by himself. “She welcomed me when I walked onto the parking lot!”
They would then start meeting up at other running clubs and registering for the same races. That led to smaller, group outings with friends, and eventually a dinner date.
“We were just running together as friends, but after a few months, we realized we had a deeper connection,” McGee told us. But instinctively, she knew there might be more to it. “I just had this weird feeling that he is going to like have an impact in my world in some form or fashion, even if he’s like an amazing run friend.”
“It was really completely organic – I literally didn’t know a soul,” Holland added. “As a single guy, I’d wanted to find some community after my son moved away from college. A few months go by, we find out we have an awful lot of things in common, and then here we are!”
But it’s not always that simple
Billy Shue, who once dated someone he met through a run club, understands both the potential rewards and risks. “When things didn’t work out, we had to give each other some space,” Shue recalled. Over time, he said, they found a way to continue running together without things being weird or uncomfortable. But, the experience didn’t change Shue’s positive outlook.
“You can’t force these things when it comes to a romantic relationship,” Shue said, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep your eyes open to the possibilities, and if something happens and it doesn’t work out, hopefully we can still be friends.”
Lauren Tamberino also experienced a few romantic connections through run clubs, though none developed into long-term relationships. Her experience was similar to Shue’s; needing a little space after a relationship ended within the club. “I avoided run club for a bit, just to let things cool off,” she noted. While things eventually returned to normal, her experience is a reminder of the risks of dating within close-knit social groups. Run clubs included.
However, as a Gen X-aged runner, Tamberino acknowledged younger runners might feel differently about finding a partner at run club. “I see younger runners, and there’s so much pressure to find someone and settle down. It’s unfortunate, but I feel it’s definitely society-driven,” she said. For her, run clubs still offer both social fulfillment and fitness partners, even if they don’t net a romantic outcome.
“It’s easy to meet people in run clubs because you’re spending time together on long runs. I’ve made great friendships, and while some romantic interests didn’t work out, I’ve created long-lasting bonds,” she explained.
If you’re still looking
For those who navigate these challenges successfully, like McGee and Holland, it’s encouraging for others who are still looking. Their friendship-first approach allowed them to build a foundation for their relationship before it ever became romantic.
And if a relationship doesn’t last long term, that doesn’t mean it was a waste of time. Tamberino, Shue, and others are proof of that the sense of community and camaraderie is the real reward.
“I’ve found my community in these run clubs—great friendships, lots of love, and support. Everything I need in a partner is wrapped up in the people I run with,” Tamberino shared. For her, the relationships she’s formed within the clubs, whether romantic or not, have enriched her life.
“Run clubs can be great for meeting people, but it’s important to manage your expectations,” Greco reminded runners who may be considering looking for romance within run clubs. “Be patient. Rushing into romance can backfire, leading to hurt feelings and awkwardness.”
It’s also important to respect others’ boundaries and read the room, or the run, as the case may be. Not everyone is looking for something “more” from run club.
As Greene put it, “I don’t want to be hit on, I don’t want to be pursued, I just want to run.”
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